With Tom, we’ve been surfing together since our very first lesson. Every time he gets in the water, I try to join him. I love bringing him out on smaller waves where I don’t have to worry too much about what could happen to him. As a dad, I’ll always be thinking about his safety. One day, when he’s out there on his own, he’ll make his own choices. I’ll still worry, but those will be his choices to make. I truly cherish the moments we share. Watching him ride a wave all the way to shore, then paddle back to me with that huge smile on his face. Those are memories I’ll hold onto for the rest of my life. I hope we can keep sharing fun waves together forever.
Yesterday, the tide was low. Our usual spot for “dad & son” sessions works better at half tide, so we decided to try another one. It’s a favorite among many surfers, but it’s a spot I’ve always been nervous about. I’m a small wave surfer, and this break was more engaged than what we’re used to. The bigger sets were definitely too big for us, but we went anyway. Thankfully, we had friends with us who knew the spot well and were looking out for our safety. We planned to let the bigger sets pass and take the smaller ones. It wasn’t crazy big you know, but once it is too big for you, you just feels it.
We walked past the rocks with our boards, attached our leashes, and paddled out. Timing was everything. We waited for a lull to paddle out more easily, but then a set arrived. Tom got hit by his board, but he kept going. Another, larger set rolled in. I got washed out but saw Tom paddling hard, making it past the waves. When I reached him, though, I could tell something was wrong. He was scared and I don’t blame him. I wasn’t feeling totally safe and felt a bit scared for him.
Tom is 11, and he’s thinking before acting. He might even overthinks stuff. That must come from me. After a quick chat, we agreed to paddle back to shore. On our way in, we tried to catch a smaller wave, but an intense set rolled through, washing us straight to the shore. It was time to walk and be careful about the rocks that were made visible from the past swells. Once we were safely on the beach, we paused to talk.
That’s when I saw his tears, and it broke me. Anyone you care about will create that feeling in you. I cried inside too. At the same time, I was so proud of him, for trying, for facing his fears, and for recognizing when it was too much. I told him I hadn’t been comfortable out there either. Big, powerful waves aren’t my thing. But the hardest part for me was realizing my own fears and seeing that Tom might share them.
This was a real bonding moment for us. I saw my own vulnerability through his. I spent the next few minutes just holding him in my arms.
Then his coach arrived for a session. He told Tom that just showing up and paddling out today was incredibly brave. Hearing that meant the world to both of us. I was so grateful for his coach’s positive encouragement. It reminded me how much I still have to learn about communicating that same kind of support to my kids.
We headed back to the parking lot to change. I grabbed my camera to capture the memory of this session. It was one of the shortest we’ve ever had, but emotionally, it was one of the most intense. Once we were dressed and warm, we enjoyed watching the waves from the parking lot. We chatted with friends, sipped hot tea, ate cookies, and made the most of our time off the water.
I’m so proud of my son, for his courage, for being vulnerable, and for embracing the moment. There’s so much we can learn from our kids. That day, I grew a little wiser and kinder, and for that, I’ll always be thankful.